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Picky is a word I get called a lot. My mom thinks my veganism is a by-product of pickiness (I was however a picky eater as a child). People call my musical taste picky (or sometimes elitist). I’m said to be very picky about my clothing (which is true).

So I wasn’t surprised when one of my best friends said I was too picky in my preference of romantic partners. See she and I have both been on a de-facto POC only kick as far as sexual and romantic partners. But when I told her that a person I had been into didn’t make the cut, she asked why– after all my former interest is a POC, My explanation that they weren’t radical enough in their thinking for me resulted in me being too picky.

I don’t feel like someone being a POC makes or breaks it for me. Is it too much for me to want to date an anti-racist, anarchist, feminist, vegan who fights systems of oppression who will smoke cigarettes with me and who is willing to listen to punk, hip hop, and electroclash? Maybe it is picky. But I can’t sacrifice my politics for romance.


  1. Sounds like you have a lot to bring to a relationship. Or friendship.

  2. I like to think so.

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